The Fringies: Worst Political Candidate of The Year
Cherry-flavored, glow-in-the-dark, radioactive Jebus! Who could have supposed that 2009 could have been topped when it came to really awful and horrific political candidates? But it was. By 2010. And it wasn’t even close.
2009 brought us the spectacle of Chris Norby running for County Clerk to preserve our birth certificates from the silverfish; and the hideous Linda Ackerwoman, an Irvine claim-jumper whose appalling repuglican candidacy for State Assembly resembled a jail break though a swamp more than a political campaign.
Well, Hell! They were just getting us warmed up.
In the category Worst Political Campaign 2010 we roll out the following rogues gallery of nominees:
1. “Hairball” Harry Sidhu. A bozo who is so damn stupid his first 4th District Supervisorial campaign move of 2010 was to pretend to live in a roach-infested apartment next to a pool hall in west Anaheim so he could qualify to run. Of course the “mainstream media,” the repuglican ass-kissers, and our do-nothin’ DA ignored this flagrant perjury. But we didn’t. From there on out it was all downhill for Hairbag, including a second fake address, inchoherent statements, more carpetbagging, embarrassing press releases, all around assclownery, and two humiliating defeats. Arf!
2. Lorri “Lorraine” Galloway. Another Anaheim Hills denizen who created at least three fake abodes (2 illegal) to run for the same seat as Sidhu. Her manifest idiocies, including the unintentionally hilarious “Lorri in 4th gear” video series (and the now world-wide youtube sensation “Poor Bella”) identified this brain-dead clothes horse as the utter lightweight she is. Her checkered past revealed all sorts of scams that would have made Elmer Gantry weep bitter tears of envy. Oh, Anaheim! I lift my leg on thee!
3. Roland Chi, a creep who by all appearances was run out of Garden Grove and took up shop in Fullerton. His disgusting grocery business was busted for serial health code violations in which numerous people were food-poisined, and he dodged prosecution by giving some of his precious bodily fluid to the DA. Meantime, in Fullerton he organized a political sign theft ring headed up by his own father, violated IRS rules by politically pimping a non-profit, and got a Korean church to illegally promote his campaign. Almost nobody was fooled by this sleazy slime-suck except the Fullerton Police and Fire Unions that recognized a kindred spirit, and that whole-heartedly endorsed his sleazoid scampaign.
Wow. What a year!
JFD, what about Patrick “$5.3 million” McPension, a guy who:
1. runs as the “pension reform candidate” yet he’s the poster boy for pension abuse.
2. connives Quirk-Silva into believing he’s a “man of his word” and sticks a knife into Quirk-Sylva’s back the 1st chance he gets once elected.
3. used Michadiet to write a bs story (lie) about how he was the “victim” of an “ice pick” attack on his “kevlar” gas tank.
4. Deceitful, liar, backstabbing, no huevos, I could go on but I want to be the 1st commenter.
A rogues gallery of ambitious buffoons! I love it.
Man, you went straight to the top. There’s no way to choose between these three. I suggest you award Fringies in separate categories first, then pick the winner based on how many wins each accumulates.
1. Worst political mailer.
2. Worst endorsement.
3. Most blatant violation of campaign law.
4. Most irrelevant issue cited by a candidate.
5. Dumbest candidate (EVER!).
6. Most pathetic finish on election day.
7. Funniest video clip from a debate.
Just sayin’…
How appropriate the timing of this blog is as today is the day Nobel Prizes are actually delivered to the year’s winners.
Those prizes are awarded in the categories of Scientific Exploration, Physics, Chemistry, Medicine, Literature, Economics and Peace. No one up for the Fringie award would be a winner in the aforementioned categories.
The Fringies, I love the mental picture that the word “fringie” puts in my mind, like the fringe on a hippys suede jacket dangling in the wind. These candidates were just dangling in the wind, hoping to fool the voters into placing their votes for them. Some voters fell for it which makes these candidates more dangerous than we know. What ever happened to, commit a crime go to jail? As pointed out above, all three of these people committed crimes.
On to the voting. Three choices, Stubborn, Stupid and Criminal.
After weighing each candidates “attributes”, Harry, desperately seeking higher office, and asking us to believe he would leave his palace in the sky to live “in the district.” A minor crime of which I think he learned his lesson.
Then also from Anaheim, little Lorri, who is around 50 something and looks like she is still in High School, playing the cutsie routine and hoping that we will mistake her for Ms. Sanchez to win our votes..ugh. I would vote for her doggie first.
And for the not so grand, final candidate, The Bad Chi running away from his crimes in Garden Grove, even though he was planning commissioner in that city, to try and start with a “clean slate” in Fullerton all the while not changing his ways and seducing voters while continuing to break laws along the campaign trail. Did he not realize that to “fool the public” and especially this blog, he would have had to move out of state to escape his history.
May I have a drum roll please?
After much deliberation, like 4 minutes, I have to vote for Roland Chi as my choice for the Fringie award. He might be the most blatant criminal of the three!
I say CHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO BAD CHI!
And those signs were bitchin!
El Sidhu Loco all the way…
Best campaign sign of the year (decade?) is “Bad Chi” with the stick figure vomitting
My vote goes for Lorraine.
She’s a way bigger liar, and far sneakier that Hairball, who is just a scumbag, at least he was’nt so fake like Lori and her minions.
What about the candidacy of my master’s drone Greg Sebourne?
Greg ran an honorable campaign based on real issues. Not like the senile clowns you cops ploughed tens of thousands of dollars into.
Sebourn may well be on the council in a couple years, sooner if Heehaws tank runs dry. That would be fun!
Have to agree with anon. Seaborne got out and worked, had virtually no budget and made no enemies in the process. He was never going to win but ran with honor. He didn’t do anything crazy like steal signs, send outrageous hit mail get in a confrontation with a voter etc.
Generally he joins a long list of people that wanted to run, did, and that will probably be the last we hear of him so far as politics go.
Chaffee has spent $300k or so to run three times and ended up with just as much as Seaborne to show for it so, all things considered, Greg did just fine.
All three choices are so appealing, but I have to give it to Galloway by a nose. The deciding factor was Dan ChakaKhanlewski said she was qualified to run in the 4th District because her “house” had an immaculate kitchen and fine antique furniture.
I also have a set of LeCrueset cookware, several cast iron skillets and a futon from IKEA. If I move all of this stuff to the 4th SD, can I run too?
Tom daly gets my vote. Tom Daly gave away $48,000 taxpayers dollars to his friend for doing nothing.
Tom Daly purchased a building for $1.2 million dollars that is a piece of crap that has been sitting empty for over two years. County employees have been asked to do furloughs and departments are being asked to take big cuts while Tom Daly continues wasting tax payers money and no one will hold him accountable.
Fullerton polices and unions want to surround themselves with cronies. Time to get rid all these and rebuild Fullerton a better city.