Don Bankhead Working Just Fine Says Manufacturer

Humanoid robot Don Bankhead, is “working just fine”, says the robot’s chief engineer.  DON, as he is known to his inventors, is actually an acronym for “Do Nothing”, the project’s original name.  “DON was supposed to just be a placeholder who would maintain the status quo while we ramped up a couple of newer models, but he proved to be so good at what he does that we’ve just kept him active for all of these years.  Unless they really screw up, once they are launched it’s usually just a matter of keeping them adequately funded, but DON has set a few longevity records around here.”

Another member of the team added  “He’s already fulfilled his primary objectives.  We’re always delighted to see one of our models go into the bonus mission phase.”  Bankhead, who has been in office on the Fullerton City Council almost continually since 1988, has sometimes been accused of losing touch during meetings and casting votes for stated reasons confusing to others.  His inventors disagree.  “Perhaps some new folks in Fullerton are alarmed at some of his behavior, but let me assure you, he’s the same DON (Bankhead) he’s always been.”

The mission hasn’t been entirely trouble free.  “We did had that glitch in 1994 when his trajectory was derailed for a few months.  It was a tricky maneuver, but with the whole team working together we brought him back online.  Other serious situations have arisen along the way, but fortunately nobody seems to notice.”

How long do engineers expect Bankhead to last?  “Of course any machine slows down with age.  DON has developed an intermittent loss of verbal/audio transmission, but most of the noises we hear from him are pretty unintelligible at this point anyway, so we really don’t consider it a problem.”