Helping A Brother Out
An observant Friend just shared a link with FFFF about an item that caught his eye. Apparently Joe Florentine, the subject of many posts on FFFF is seeking a new gig. Here’s his entry on LinkedIn:
Now, FFFF is not a jobs center and neither are we job recruiters. But damn! I know talent when I see it, and this guy has it in spades.
Now, I’m not going to show this upstanding citizen’s whole resume, because, humble and self-effacing as Joe is, he omitted to share some real ability. I’ll help out.
Joe’s Unique Skillset & References
- Enterprising. Built restaurant addition on a public sidewalk and got away with it.
- Creative. Operated an illegal night club in contravention to City of Fullerton regulations for many years.
- Recreational Opportunities Deployment. Exercised the greatest latitude in permitting patrons to enjoy interpersonal contact on dance club floor (i.e. see “Drunken Others”).
- Plumbing and Wastewater Systems Expertise. Avoided adding additional sewage to the wastewater system by utilizing the same toilets for multiple businesses. Urination and defecation were performed by patrons without overloading existing wastewater systems.
- Mixological Ingenuity and Marketing Acumen. Brought the Fish Bowl concept to downtown Fullerton to acclaim and adulation, specifically, in which a patron could buy a 128 fluid ounce cocktail.
- Daring. Refused requirement to install fire sprinklers as mandated by City permit approval.
- Creative Writing and Teamwork. Forged an official City planning application with the consent and foreknowledge of the City Manager and Planning Director and City Attorney.
References
Former Fullerton City Planning Director F. Paul Dudley
Former Fullerton City Manager Joe Felz (customer #1!)
Former Fullerton City Manager Ken Domer
Former Fullerton Police Chief Pat “Patdown Pat” McKinley
Former Fullerton Police Chief Danny “Galahad” Hughes
Former Fullerton City Councilmembers Don Bankhead, Dick Jones, Jennifer Fitzgerald and Jan Flory
Fullerton City Attorney Dick “The Other Dick” Jones
Why was Joe hiding his light under a bushel? That guy is a talented piece of manpower.
maybe Mario can give him a gig running a taco truck.
Joe Felz – Number 1 customer!
That’s Joe Burt Felz to you.
I think he also invented the Blue Fishbowl O’ Booze that finally put Fullerton on the mixology map.
Thanks for the tip. I’ll add it to the resume!
https://losangeles.craigslist.org/lgb/fbh/d/long-beach-jp23-long-beach-is-seeking/7371701216.html
Flo & Pooz! What could go wrong?
Note the accolades for food sales. He forgot to include:
In violation of my CUP requirement to have at least 50% of total sales from food and not alcohol.
Shocking exclusion.
A common skill in Fullerton.
And the food was shit on a paper plate.
How dare you insult shot on a plate that way. Take it back!
Damn, the resume is getting longer!
I spent many happy hour hours under that bar!
Another proud Titan making his mark on the world!
8. New Concepts in Quality Control and Marketing Research. Created extremely crappy food knowing that most of clientele a) wouldn’t know the difference and b) if they did, they could replaced by idiots who wouldn’t.
9. Superior Fire Starter: suspected by some for his part in taking a gas can and zippo to the Melody Inn.
No, that was Dad with the packing material and lighter.