“Pumpkin Launch” A Metaphor for Redevelopment Failure

Mistakes were made...
Mistakes were made...

The OC Register reports about a strange event that went awry: a pumpkin launched from a pnuematic “cannon” by engineering students overshot its target and crashed through the scoreboard of the CSUF football field.

So why is this an apt metaphor for Redevelopment? Consider the venue: a football stadium financed by the Fullerton Redevelopment Agency for a football program that was disbanded the year after the stadium was built . Then consider the dopiness of the event itself. Then reflect upon the fact that the participants didn’t seem to have a clue what they were doing – missing their mark by 120%.

And finally, the cavalier attitude of the event organizer: damage was minor, and “They had no idea how far it was going to go,” (Keith) Brush said. “You know, with engineering projects, they usually don’t work out the first time.” And of course the the ultimate subjective stamp of approval that would have done any Redevelopment Director proud: 3000 kids had a good time. And of course we can’t put a price tag on that, now can we?

At least the pumpkin launch damage will only cost a few thousand bucks to fix (just wait’ll CSUF gets done with that bill!). Fullerton Redevelopment boondoggles cost a lot more.

Fullerton Redevelopment Bimbo Joins 72nd Campaign!

Hey, big boy, wanna create a Redevelopment Project Area?
Hey, big boy, wanna create a Redevelopment Project Area?

Today the fraudulent “Alliance for California’s Tomorrow,” the pay to play slush fund that’s been attacking Chris Norby, recorded an interesting contributor: Marshall Linn. Mr. Linn is the President of Urban Futures, the Redevelopment “consultant” that cooked up the totally bogus Redevelopment expansion scheme for Fullerton. He kicked in $2,000.

Well, now we take that personally!   Urban Futures is nothing more than an opinion for hire – hacks and paid Redevelopment agency hookers. They make Mr. Linn’s nice living for him by creating phony justifications for Redevelopment: recognizing blight where none exists. FFFF is suing the City of Fullerton for its fraudulent Redevelopment expansion, and now the president of this parasitic enterprise is trying to defeat Chris Norby – enemy of eminent domain and Redevelopment abuse.

Well, Marshall, thanks for popping up like the weed you are. This will make our dealings with the city that much more entertaining!

What is “The Alliance for California’s Tomorrow”?

I have friends all over California and some of them are very generous.
I have friends all over California and some of them are very generous.

You’ve gotten a lot of junk mail from them lately, about the 72nd Assembly race, and  mostly reprehensible attacks on Chris Norby. Never heard of this operation with the lame name? Don’t feel bad. Hardly anyone else has either. That’s because it doesn’t make anything, doesn’t stand for anything, and doesn’t even exist – except on paper. It is a political Independent Expenditure “Committee” that’s sole reason for existence is to funnel lobbyist money into political campaigns.

But let’s let Repuglican Bigmouth Jon Fleischman tell it:

“Just heard from Jim Nygren the consultant for the Alliance for California’s Tomorrow, the Sacramento insider crowd that is ponying up big-time to try and elect Linda Ackerman in AD 72.”

Jim Nygren. A political “consultant” who operates a slush fund for “insiders” to get one of their own in power. Redevelopment abusers, gambling interests, etc., etc. These are the real supporters of Team Ackerman. And boy, oh boy do they want their cardboard cutout up in Sacto. where they can put her to work over rigatoni with clam sauce at Spataro.

And check out Fleischman’s post: they’ve lined up the punch drunk Bankhead to provide testamonials for Linda Ackerman, the woman whose husband, Dick, famously coined the moniker “Blankhead”! One letter is meant for Reeps the other for Dems. Geez, they think of everything! But given Bankhead’s embarrassingly vacant performance on the council dais lately, one has to wonder if his support is worth much.

I'd like soup. Are we having soup today?
I'd like soup. Are we having soup today?

10/28/09 72nd Absentee Ballot Totals

At the Registrar of Voters site you can keep track of how many absentee ballots have been mailed in. As of yesterday just a little under 13,000 were returned. Since Wednesday’s counts were significantly lower than Tuesday’s it looks like the hump is past and the majority may have already been cast. It will be interesting to see if the Ackerman, Inc. continues its barrage of junk mail in pursuit of a dwindling number of likely voters.

Here’s hoping they waste a lot of their lobbyist money. And here are the totals:

November 17 , 2009 Statewide Special Election
Raw Count of Vote-by-Mail Ballots Returned

date count
10/21/2009 63
10/22/2009 1,851
10/23/2009 2,441
10/26/2009 3,571
10/27/2009 3,235
10/28/2009 1,746
Total: 12,907

Another Day, Another Phone Call

Van
Oh, no. Not again!

Following hot on the heels of their last snagged conversation between Dick Ackerman and his various high-minded associates, we have received this sparkling gem from our Undercover Surveillance Unit.

It appears to be a conference call between Dick Ackerman and two of Repuglican OCs minor water bearers, Adam Probolsky and Matthew Cunningham. It is so unbelievable that we will obviously forgive you Friends for treating it as fiction, but here goes, anyway.

It's all coming together...another term in Sacramento!
It's all coming together...another term in Sacramento!

(Cunningham and Ackerman were already conversing when the interception began. A faint ringing sound is heard in the background)

Dick Ackerman: (snort) You missed the rear tires again.

Matt Cunningham: Sorry, sir. Thought I got them. Won’t happen again.

DA: (grunting noise) Yeah, well it better not…and use Armor All next time…

(ringing stops)

Adam Probolsky: Hey there, Senator. So glad I could join –

DA: (guttural sounds) Shut up and listen Problobsky. Your girlfriend has already got me into plenty of hot water. That shit with Jones Day isn’t going to be free.

AP: I’ll tell you what –

DA: (bark) No, you’re done talking, putz. Clam up. You’re almost as bad as that donkey Fleischman.

AP: Sorry, sir I just –

( a low grade snarl, unattributable)

DA: That asshole Lacy did a poll. Showed Linda down by ten. We go down, you go down. Now get your fat ass out there and refute it. And you, you –

MC: Me? Yessir?

DA: Your job is to screw with that FFFF operation and Bushala. That bastard is putting up signs attacking me. I mean attacking Linda. Nobody attacks me. It can’t be legal. They’re making me look bad. Making Linda look bad. Making us look bad. (several low growls and a snort). Ughhhmmmmph.

MC: He’s fringe. Crazy. I really hate him. I hate his guts.

AP: He’s a terrrorist. They all are, you know.

DA: Shut up, Plobrosky. What are you still doing on the line? You’ve got your assignment now get lost.

(a distinct clicking sound) 

MC: Anything else you want me to do, sir?

DA: (snarl) I want you to start going after Norby, goddammit!

MC: Okay….well…its hard…I mean. I haven’t endorsed him…

DA: (several growls)Nobody gives a rat’s ass about your punk endorsement. Just take a shit on him every day.

MC: Well, I’m trying, but you see, John is telling me the same thing, so –

DA: Don’t play hard ball with me you little (unintelligible). If I go down you’re coming along, too see, just like Porbolsky and Fleischberg. And all that Carona shit may come out, too. You and all your little…(loud sound of exhalation).  And don’t forget to shut up that Bartlett piece of crap. Thinks he’s so goddam pure and self-righteous. (growling sound)

MC: Well, we’ve been deleting some of his posts and Chip has –

DA: (muffled sounds of indeterminate origin) Shut him up. Now. I’ll take care of him but good after I win. So go after Bushala. Make him look bad. (several quick grunts)

MC: Well, it’s a little hard – he doesn’t seem to care what I say about him. He’s crazy.

DA: Goddamit, call him a liar and a crook. I don’t give a shit. Use some big words. Goddam Jones Day. Worthless. Can’t count on anybody. All out to get me. (a muffled snarl)

MC: Okay, sir. I’ll keep up the pressure. We really need Linda.

DA: Who? Oh, yeah. Right. Now start blogging or your gravy train’s gonna come to a screeching halt, you got it?

MC: Yessir!

DA: And next time get the tires right or I’ll let Fleischman do it.

Not Quite Gone and Hardly Forgotten: Steve Greenhut Goes After Ackerman, Inc.

Our old amigo Steve Greenhut has taken a job up north in Sacramento to untangle some of the worst of California’s governmental pathologies, but he still writes an occasional piece for the OC Register. It obviously has not been lost on Steve that the current battle for the 72nd Assembly District is a pretty good symbol of an attempt by the entrenched GOP old guard to hold on to their influence and money apparatus – and that ties directly to the mess in Sacramento.

Over the week-end Greenhut dropped a devastating editorial scud on the Ackerman, Inc. machine that was both informative and entertaining. Read Steve’s piece here.

It first appeared as a small shadow from overhead...
It first appeared as a small shadow from overhead...

The OC Repugs don’t like the antiseptic light of day shining on their doings, so one can only imagine the consternation Greenhut’s editorial has caused. And they also don’t like their ideology questioned by anybody. Ideology is their purview, see, by which they whip up the stupider ranks of the rank and file and get them mobilized. But that’s mostly window dressing. When in office the ‘Pugs like to settle in and start milking their cash cow for all it’s worth.

It's so beautiful it just brings a tear to Dick's eye...
It's so beautiful it just brings a tear to Dick's eye...

A Style is Born

Oh my God. That's really, really awful.
Oh my God. That's really, really awful.

A couple days ago we posted on the unveiling of the breathtakingly hideous “Fox Village” monstrosity. Since first looking at those images we have been racking our brains trying to come up with a useful designation of Architectural taxonomy to describe what looked like a train wreck of shapes, materials and themes.

And then it hit us: Downtown Brea Revival! The same jumble of visual chaos, but rather than lined up along a street, it’s been all smooshed together. The corner main entry was of course stolen:

Mother of a thousand imitators
Via Rodeo: mother to a thousand imitators

Now the Fox Village purveyors have altered the ostensible “style” from banal Mediterranean to tawdry “modernish,” but of course the identical impulse to create an instant “village” and imbue it with a sense of authenticity, persists. And that’s Redevelopment for you.

FFFF Surveillance Team Snags Another Ackerman Call

 
Thye're back!
Yup. They're back!

Well they have done it again. Or at least they told us they did. Our crack Undercover Surveillance Unit has sent in a transcript of another intercepted Dick Ackerman phone conversation, this time with an unidentified male communicant. We are not sure exacly what to make of this transcript and we are cognizant that the surveillance team had just been issued its monthy medicinal marijuana supply. So we simply pass the transcript along to the Friends, who would be damn fools to believe it.

Heh heh. Remember the ferrets?
Heh heh. Remember the steamroom?

(Phone ringing)

Unidentified Male Communicant: Yes, hello.

Dick Ackerman: Tomski, Dick Ackerman here. (two quick grunts followed by a snort)

UMC: The Dickster! (unintelligible guttural sound)

DA: Booga, Booga!

UMC: Alpha Kappa

DA: Alpha Kappa Chi!

UMC: Grab some titties,

DA: Shoot some beaver,

UMC: I Eta Pi! (three or four grunts in quick succession) Heh. Heh heh.

DA: (Several snorting sounds and a distinct throat clearing) Heh heh heh.

UMC: What’s up Dickie-boy?

DA: (a grunt) Got some trouble up north with a punk reporter and a coupla pissant bloggers. Got a girl in trouble.

UMC: The Dickster! Oh yeah! Still got it! (two deep grunts). Heh heh.

DA: Not like that you idiot. More Duvall shit. God I wished I’d never talked that asshole into running. (a low, long rumbling sound)

Unidentified Female Voice In Background: She’s works so hard!

UMC: Uhhhmm…what do you want me to do?

DA: A coupla letters, heh heh. Pin some ears back, heh, heh, heh. The usual.

UMC: (a long rumbling throaty noise). Ahhh. Look Dickie-boy the suits back east are getting a little hung up on all this pro bono stuff. So…

DA: (a quick snarl) No, you look Tomski. We go back a long way. Remember the trouble with that senorita in Vallejo? And that little side deal during the Swindell merger? And the steam room. Remember the steam room, Tomski?

UMC: That was thirty-five years ago!

DA: Thirty-seven. But what’s a coupla years between old friends?

UMC: Ughhh.Ughhhh. Well…ughhh…

DA: Good. So we can count you in. Knew we could. I’ll fax over the dope. Get on it! (a grunt)

UMC: Yeah, well okay. See what we can do.

UFVIB: Dick, that white van’s back behind croquet court wall!

DA: (a string of nasal ejaculations followed by a quick barking sound) Okay, Tomski, gotta go. See you at the club on Friday!

UMC: (a grunting sound) Yeah. Okay. You owe me a drink!

(at this point the communication was ended)

Coming soon to your neighborhood...
Coming soon to your neighborhood...

Ed Roski Blowing Smoke for Ackerwoman

Ed Roski
Ed Roski

Well, we predicted the presence of Ed Roski in the campaign for the 72nd Assembly District, here. Roski has made a fortune in commercial real estate, not to mention controlling the dubious City of Industry – a Redevelopment Valhalla –  as his personal fiefdom.

Chris Norby has been a staunch foe of Redevelopment abuse, and has singled out both the City of Industry as well as its attempt to swipe an NFL team (to play in a stadium that dodged full environmental review – courtesy of the legislature) for scrutiny; so Roski’s participation in the election seemed a forgone conclusion.

Furthermore, Team Ackerman, Inc. has a well-documented history of supporting Redevelopment boondoggles and misuse, including building a football stadium at CSUF for a non-existant team, and then underwriting a losing fundraising campaign for it.

A late expenditure report by our parasitical pals at The Alliance for California’s Tomorrow shows that Roski dumped $25,000 into their committee this week. The expenditures are for “data” and “printing,” so presumably a mailer is on the way.

What’s curious is that the expenditure is that it is designated as “for” Linda Ackerman, whereas we had assumed Roski was going to be the designated hitter against Norby – so that the Ackerwoman could keep her mitts clean. That theory was undermined when Ackerwoman had to do the dirty work herself in her disgraceful mailer about the bogus sexual harassment suit. The fact that Roski is weighing in now – but not specifically “against” Norby – might indicate that he’s seen some polling numbers and doesn’t really want to offend Assemblyman Norby, but needs to show the flag, at least. But we merely speculate.

What’s also curious about the expenditure is the timing. Thousands of absentee ballots have already been returned. Why did Roski wait so long to kick in? Desperation by Team Ackerman, Inc.? Who knows?

When we get the mailer, we’ll share the contents.

In the meantime maybe our Undercover Surveillance Unit has picked up on a conversation between Dick and Ed. If so, we’ll keep you posted.

God-awful “Fox Village” Gets Even Worse!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUWTXt0TRkQ

Remember those horror movies when the outraged villagers grabbed their pitchforks to have at the monster? What the “Fox Village” monster could use are a few more angry villagers.

At the City Council “workshop” on Tuesday the new plans for the existing city-created empty space behind the Fox Theater were rolled out. And while the reception by the public wasn’t pretty it wasn’t enough to kill off the monster, either.

What was rolled out were several elevations that raised the curtain on a hideously confused jumble of themes and materials that were supposed to be modernish, but that had that certain flavor of architectural renderings done by crazy people.

Egad. What a freaking mess...
Egad. What a freaking mess...

A hodgepodge of shapes and veneers with no apparent cohesion and not a whiff of aesthetic originality. Stone veneer on the first floor obligatory.

Oy Vey!
Oy Vey!

Have Fox Villagers gone insane? What a mish mash!

Say what?
Say what?

Why are they still trying to move McDonald’s? Didn’t the Council put that idea to rest? And yet here it is again! Can anyone say “insubordination”? Guess not – in Fullerton! And look a parking lot on the corner. Just what downtown needs – another permanent hole in the building fabric of downtown Fullerton.

Send in the clowns...
Send in the clowns...

Ah, the inevitable “pedestrian paseo.” Just lookit all the happy, bedazzled consumers. And that fountain! Precious. Makes you want to make a wish and toss three coins in.

Folks if you aren’t ready to go grab your pitchforks by now, we suggest that we stick a fork in you –  because we think you’re done.