Category: Fringie Awards

How ashamed can one dog get? I haven’t felt so embarrassed since my mistress had my masculinity removed. Ouch. Thanks to timely reminders from some helpful Friends, I add two late entries to the Nominees in the category. They are ten and eleven. And I predict they will gain immediate support for the award.

– JFD

Still images are fun and artistic, but there’s nothing quite like a little moving picture to stir up some good, clean fun. And in the popular Fringie® category of Best Video, the Nominating Committee had lots of submissions from which to choose. Some have been nominated for their auteurship, others for their comedic value – intended, or otherwise. Enjoy.

1. Back in the innocent days of May 2011 it looked like the most action this blog might see in2011 was a little fun in the sun. Here’s our admin doing a tuck and roll, Glamis-style. His ctitics will note his head goes into the sand, but that’s better than having it go up his backside a la the Three Dead Tree Stumps.

2. In June we discovered an amusing video by some entertaining FJC slackers who could tell useless architecture when they saw it. And that puts them way ahead of trustee Molly McClanahan and her pals at Fullerton Heritage. Also notice the appearance of aggrieved FPD trolls in the comments thread.

3. In July we shared the video of Fullerton cops in action, featuring Mr. Kenton Hampton beating up an innocent witness, Veth Mam, for the unforgivable act of video recording the incident. We discovered later that Mam was actually prosecuted and absolved of attacking the cops! Hampton and cohort Frank Nguyen lied on the stand that Mam had jumped on some cop’s back. No charges of perjury from the DA. Hmm.

4. At the end of July we shared the first video of the Kelly Thomas murder, a shocking revelation of the extent of the damage inflicted on the homeless man by a gang of Fullerton cops. 940,00 people have watched this video.

5. In mid-August the weekly protesters took to the streets in a defiant march from the police station to the spot in the Transportation Center where Kelly Thomas was bludgeoned to death by members of the Fullerton police department. For an hour the streets of Fullerton really belonged to us again. Power to the people!

6. In mid-September KFI radio hosts John and Ken invited Fullerton citizenry to honk at FPD HQ in protest of the ham-fisted tickets handed out by Andrew Goodrich, Barry Coffman & Co. And honk they did!

7. Sleepy Bankhead becomes an unintentional movie star.

8. Confusing our tax dollars with handing out candy to kids is nothing new for Doc HeeHaw who’s been doing it for 15 years. Here he is handing out millions of simoleons to the anti-reacall team leader, Dick Ackerman!

9. Will you please shut up!

10. Watch Fullerton cops orchestrate the Tickets for Honkers Scam (see Nominee #6, above) and enjoy union president Barry Coffman harassing a law abiding citizen. And especially notice the last bit where Mr. Desk Cop can’t find the pen hole in his own shirt. I wonder if this is symptomatic issue for Mr. Coffman. Arf!!

11. And here’s an artistic take on Mr. Goodrich & Coffman, courtesy of a creative Friend. Excessive horning? WTF? That’s stupid even to me and I’m just a dog!

Of course the most important video of 2011 is still not available for public inspection. That’s the video WE own. The killers have seen it; their bosses have seen it; the DA and his minions have seen it. But for some reason the people’s elected representatives are still not permitted to see it – denied by the people who ostensibly work for them. We now know that’s just a sham. The cops run Fullerton and thanks to the incompetence of Jones, McKinley and Bankhead they run it any damn way they please. But that’s coming to an end.

Another popular Fringie® category, Worst Vote, once again had the Nominating Committee sifting through reams of material trying to separate the ridiculous from the sublimely ridiculous. The effort was herculean, and by herculean I mean mind-numbingly depressing. And so the Committee, exhausted and babbling, climbed into a dune buggy and drove off into the cold desert night with nothing but twelve bottles of Thunderbird® and soda crackers.

Anyway here’s what they left behind.

2. In July the Fullerton School Board voted 4-1 to hire a huckster named Rudy Ruetigger to be their management retreat’s motivation speaker at $2000, a real bargain. Maybe the bargain basement price was due to the fact that the SEC was nipping at Rudy’s heels. None of the Trustees who supported this extravagance seems to have been the least bit curious about why six-figure salaries plus benefits wasn’t ample motivation for Fullerton’s educrat class.

3. In December the Three Hollow Logs on the Fullerton City Council elected one of their own, Pat McKinley, to be the back up face of Fullerton as Mayor Pro Tem. Well this is perfectly appropriate. McKinley, who makes $20,000 each and every month as a retired public employee is a poster child for runaway pension abuse in California; his insulting and ignorant comments about Kelly Thomas’ injuries, and his jaw-droppingly embarrassing views on sexual battery perpetrated by his policeman make him a perfect symbol of an entrenched, sclerotic, gerontocracy.

4. In August, as the pressure of world-wide scrutiny mounted, the City Council voted 4-1 to hire an outside contractor named Michael Gennaco to avoid doing needed to done: an immediate house cleaning. More wasted dough. An accompanying action was to create a task force on homeless issues, chaired by Rusty Kennedy, friend of cops throughout OC. The creation of this committee was the rudest diversion of all, suggesting that the real issue wasn’t an out-of-control gang of thugs, pickpockets, perjurers, and killers roaming the streets of Fullerton in police uniforms.

5. Also in August the Three Hollow Logs needed to prove they still had potent f-up mojo and awarded a multi-million dollar subsidized housing project to the clients of the guy who would become the Recall defense team leader, Dick Ackerman. Ackerman’s client St. Anton Partners who is slated to get millions of public money jumped all the way from eighth place into the driver’s seat. The Age of Miracles is not over!

6. Back in March the Three Tree Stumps voted to try to hide Redevelopment assets from the State, because, let’s face it, these so-called conservatives are hooked on government central planned boondoggles like a junkie is on black tar heroin.

7. The Fullerton School Board granted furlough days to their teachers instead of a comparatively small pay cut. Trustee and union jock strap Janny Meyer opined on face book, and we were there to share her illiterate boo-hooing.

8. Away back in April the City Council gave “acting” City Manager Joe Felz the permanent job without ever having engaged in a search. Three months later Felz would wilt like an old leaf of lettuce in the sun. Joe probably figured the job would be a breeze. After all his predecessors Chis Meyer and Jim Armstrong got away with murder (figuratively). His police force wasn’t so lucky (literally).

Due to reasonable requests from Friends for additional images, the Nominating Committee reopened the selection process and has generously included additional images for consideration.

– JFD

In one of our most popular categories our Nominating Committee considered images from 2011 that aggravated our collective angst, that seared our frayed synapses, and that moved us to laughter, rage, tears, blood and sweat. Such mind-numbing work can only be assuaged by mind-numbing medication, and so the Committee found itself self-medicating frequently and without any of the controls imposed by people who control controlled substances. Controcontrolcontrolcontrolcontr…okay where was I?

Oh, yeah. Best Image Fringie® 2011. Here are your nominees:

1. Smirking police spokesorifice Andrew Goodrich. This image of utterly smug self-satisfaction, bloated self-worth, utter disdain for the civilians that pay his engorged salary and pension, and utter disdain for the truth came to symbolize a dysfunctional police department. Image and behavior in perfect synchronization. This picture is going to be hard to beat.

2. Ahoy there, matey. Back in late summer former Fullerton police sergeant Arthur Wiechmann deigned to visit our humble blog to defend the killers Ramos and Cicinelli. He left a slime trail that was quickly traced back to his own website. And what we found there was pretty creepy. In case you were wondering, yes, Swinging Loverboy is a proud member of Fullerton’s $100,000 club.

3. Until their mug shots graced world-wide news media there was no face to the cop side of the brutal beating death of Kelly Thomas. When Ramos and Cicinelli became the Faces of Fullerton to the world, the true extent of Pat McKinley’s disastrous stretch as Chief of Police became evident to all except the most delusional. If you can discern an iota of humanity in these photos, God bless you.

4. Back in September Fullerton opened it’s new library remodel and conference room. While only a few hundred feet away a “lynch-type mob” protested the murder-by-cop of an innocent man, a crazed Doc Heehaw and His Business as Usual Co. got tough with an over-sized scissors. Which just goes to show that when the going gets tough, the tough get to cutting ribbons.

5. Colonel HeeHaw as Colonel Sanders. Any resemblance is purely coincidental.

6. Boss HeeHaw as Boss Hogg. All hat and no cattle. Any resemblance is purely coincidental.

7. The She Bear, Pat McMcKinley lumbered through our collective consciousness in 2011, leaving copious amounts of She Bear scat in his wake. This picture resonated with the Nominating Committee as one of the great reflections of hypocrisy anybody could recall. See, if you’re one of Pat’s “Special Ladies,” you are not credible and your claims to have been sexually assaulted by one of McKinley’s cops is unbelievable.

8. This cheerful image of former City Manager Chris Meyer surfaced in connection with the bloatation of Fullerton’s $100,000 pension club. Meyer cashes a $14,300 pension check each and every month so he doesn’t have to worry where his next meal is coming from. As City Manager the Meyer oversaw a Fullerton Police Department that sank into its current Culture of Corruption.

9. Thanks to Friend JT for reminding us of this fun still harvested from an entertaining video about police union boss Barry Coffman handing out citations for “excessive horn honking” a new Vehicle Code violation cooked up by the Fullerton Police Department to harass protesters. For sheer overfed haplessness there’s just no getting around this image. That the haplessness is accompanied by a badge, a gun, arrogance, and self-entitlement should give all freedom-loving people cause to reflect.

10. Since Time Magazine© has named “The Protester” as Person of the Year, it seems fitting to give due notice to Kelly’s Army for their diligent two-month protest in front of the police department. To all the protesters right, left, and center who joined together, God bless you.

That’s enough abuse. Who will take home the coveted Fringie©? Stay tuned and find out!

When the sun rose on January 1, 2011, who could have foreseen the strange and disturbing circumstance that would produce a veritable cavalcade of scary ghosts from Fullerton’s olden days.

Sweet Baby Jebus!

And who knew that so many vaporous remnants of Fullerton’s horse and buggy days would be putting in appearances to remind us of the bad old days before talking pictures and x-rays.

Damn Recall!

1. First we heard the name A.B. “Buck” Catlin, supporter of the anti-recall crew, and inveterate staff stooge/big government RINO when he was on the City Council in the 1880s. Catlin was a proud supporter of every Redevelopment boondoggle in Fullerton’s history; and some that were so hare-brained even his pals wouldn’t support them. How frightful! Good Old Buck was recalled alongside Don Bankhead and Molly McClanahan for promoting a totally unnecessary utility tax. Wow, things don’t change much around here, do they? Shriek!

2. Another scary ghost reappeared to support the Three Dithering Dinosaurs: the hideous spectral phenomenon known as Linda LeQuire. Linda’s image does not appear in mirrors or photographs so you’ll just have to take our word for it. She also popped up to haunt Fullerton two years ago, so I guess we’re just going to have to get used to these biennial visitations! Brrrr!

3. Then there was the horrifying and serial re-appearances of my former, broomstick wielding mistress, Jan Flory. Like her former colleagues she too glady voted to approve an illegal 10% tax on your water bills. Even her offspring are creepy. That’s enough to make you cough up your kibble! EEK!

4. Some purists may quibble that Molly McClanahan can’t possibly be a eerie apparition since she is actually an elected member of the North Orange County Community College District Board of Trustees.  But if that isn’t an insubstantial graveyard I don’t know what is. Like Catlin, and Bankhead, McClanahan was recalled in 1994 for backing that shameful utility tax; her eerie manifestation in defense of the indefensible Three Sluggish Sloths says all that need be said about this transparent emanation.

5. And finally, in 2011 we were treated to a horrifying visitation from the Great Beyond in the vacuous form of former city councilwoman Pam Keller. Don’t be fooled by any apparent substance. There’s no there, there.

First she showed up to scream union slogans into a radio show mike; later she appeared at a city council meeting in some sort of cryogenic suit. If that don’t send you shrieking into the night then I don’t know from Milk Bones. Boo!

Feel free to run screaming into the night, yourself.

The Fringie Awards came and went but for some inexplicable reason I failed to pass along a Special Fringie Award that is, perhaps, the most deserved award ever won in the entire history of the freakin’ human race.

Well you know what it’s for, just like Friend Otis who reminded us of our oversight.

The Special Fringie for Best Use of Animation Ever, goes to Fire Hero, and it’s brilliant auteur, Oliver Stone.

Always remember. I am Hero and deserve!

Worst Vote 2010. For sheer, wasteful incompetence you’ve really got to hand it to Chris Norby. The judges were horrified by the deed. Politicians get so few chances to do the right thing without fear of reprisal of some sort. And when confronted with the opportunity to tell Janet Nguyen to take her stupid memorial and shove it up her Midway City, Norby gave her a big, wet $350,000 kiss. Ugh.

Best Image of 2010. Was there ever any doubt? The selection committee didn’t even pause for another bong rip. You knew, too, didn’t you. Here it is:

Engaging Political Mailers. This one was tough and the committee labored long and hard. And by long and hard I mean, hello bankrupt Aaron Gregg; and good-bye to any chance of winning anything:

Best Campaign Sign. Another no-brainer for the selection committee who by now was totally fried. In a year of outstanding campaign sign outstandatude, one entry blew the others away. And you you knew it was coming, dintcha? Bad Chi. Bad, bad Chi!

Wackiest Political Stooge of the Year. Yep, the dark horse took the bait and takes the brass ring. And by brass ring I mean a coveted Fringie. And by dark horse I mean the nominee originally set up just to round out the field. The humorless, brain-washed oddball 4sd Observer, re-emerged to remind us all of the hollow Sham that was Pam and the various cretins who actually bought into her scam and continue to defend it.

Most Embarrassing Political Endorsement. Hopefully you caught on by the time you reached the end of the squalid list. And if u dint u r not 2 brite. All these miscreants, dingbats, and airheads endorsed the same bozo – Hairball Sidhu. And he in turn was only too eager to publicize their support. And that means they all deserved each other – a way down there at the bottom of the slimy well.

Worst Political Candidate. Yes, Hairbag Sidhu is an inveterate office-seeking, perjuring assclown. Lorraine Galloway is a blithering idiot. But neither of them actually poisoned anybody. Neither had to give their DNA to the DA to dodge a stay at Theo Lacy; neither’s old man was busted, in flagrante delicto, stealing campaign signs. And so the winner must be obvious. It was to the committee. Cue Roland Chi theme song.

The Committee believed it would be remiss without recognizing special contributors to the North OC Scene, and so it deemed Special Fringies to be in order. here they are:

The 2010 Don’t Know Whether to Laugh or to Cry Special Fringie goes to this collection of crooks and scammers who seem to understand the bathos of the June 2010 election night situation. All except the buffoon in the middle, of course, who seems to find the whole thing humorous:

The 2010 Do As I Say Not As I Do Special Fringie Hypocrisy Award goes to none other than Matthew J. Cunningham, who rails about big government and nanny states, as well as all the other repuglican moralistic bugaboos, but who actually makes his living, such as it is, on the government crumbs his ‘pug bosses brush off their table. In 2010 we busted this fine, upstanding “conservative” gentleman for being the publicist of the Rob Reiner tax-and-redistribute OC Children and Families Commission where he was making $200 an hour handing out toothbrushes, listening to the radio, having lunch with Steve Greenhut, writing op-ed pieces for Democrats, and even filing his obscene invoices in his garage (Suite C) file cabinet.

Suddenly all of his previous behavior made a lot more sense.

Best New Phrase of Invective 2010. The judges weren’t even going to award this Special Fringie in 2010. And then just last week one of the Friends coined this sparkling gem: Fullertonions. Was it intentional? Was it just a typo? The judges didn’t give a damn. The term just seems so right to describe the dismal, vegetative state of an electorate that would elevate fellow vegetables Pat McPension and Don Blankhead. And onions make you cry.

Best Hope for Fullerton’s Future. This Special Fringie goes to Bruce Whitaker and Chris Thompson, two dudes who seem to get it. In two years you will have a chance to build on these 2010 success stories. Will you? Or will you let the onions have a free ride?

Well, Friends, them there’s your 2010 Fringies. It’s been one helluva a year for you Fullertonions down there, and all I can say is you got what you deserved. But what do I know? I’m just a deceased canine and just damn glad to be up here in Dog Heaven.

Inflamed, chartreuse mind-bubbling Jebus! The worst vote. Think of the horrible depths one has to plumb with one’s thumb to pull out this choice plum.

Here are your 2010 nominees:

1. The Monument. On his way out the door, departing 4th District Supervisor Chris Norby paused long enough to cast a vote of approval for Janet Nguyen’s idiotic bequest of County slush funds to build some sort of Vietnam commemorative something in a Midway City pocket park. The price tag was $350,000, to be doled out to some sort of performing arts troupe. So when Norby finally got the chance to cast a freebie vote not to waste money, what does he do? He votes to waste it, big time.

2. The Megalopolis. The latest Downtown master plan (there’s a new one every five years just to keep the Redevelopment clowns busy) is a monstrously overbuilt plan that would essentially wipe out any lingering essence of authenticity in the place. Who voted to move this forward? The usual cast of zombies: Pam Keller, Don Bankhead and Heehaw Jones.

3. The Coward. Newly sworn in ex-tough guy cop Pat McPension gets a nod here for what was only his second vote in office: to stick it to Sharon Quirk-Silva and vote for the geriatric pudding aficionado Don Blankhead as Mayor Pro Tem. Not only did he hand a giant F-U to a person whose endorsement helped get him elected, he showed his true mettle vis-a-vis the repuglican old guard, and stern stuff it was not. Poor McPension. He knows he can’t serve two masters, and he has made his choice. Too bad for the public.

4. Special Friend’s Choice. Feel free to nominate your favorite bad vote 2010, either in Fullerton or at the County. All offerings will be duly noted for Fringie consideration by the nominating committee!